How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
