glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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