Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
