my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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