i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
