i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just had sex bonerless
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
