oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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