Swine flu. Run for my life!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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