Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize