Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
