I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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