What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
