I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
