what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
