is your mom at the bar?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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