It's Friday. Sex?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
