I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
