Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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