if only i could text you this smell
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize