Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
