Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
