Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
