Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
