i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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