Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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