the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
