# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
