Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
