he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My penis needs a shock collar
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
