I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
