This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
