I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
