plz talk dirty to me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
