Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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