I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
