Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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