its not stalking. its research.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
