In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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