I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
