It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
