Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
