he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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