would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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