i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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