who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
