You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
