she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize