if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dicks are not precious.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
