brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Randomize
