sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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