Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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