eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
