we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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