maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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