I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
