dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
