Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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