I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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