tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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