If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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