How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's just like the Real World with babies
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize