Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
