Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
