I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
