what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
