So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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