Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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