I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize