that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I am available for nakedness
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
